I realize this monthly update is coming about a week late. That's okay. It's been a busy few weeks: selling a house, working through some family medical emergencies, ending a three-year stint in a workplace. It's all part of the journey, right?
Add on top of this, the awful news regarding the continued plague of mass shootings in the United States. (As a teacher, the shooting in Uvalde have particularly gripped me and I will likely be publishing a piece I wrote on Facebook about why teachers keep hammers in their classroom, but I need time to process Uvalde.)
Now that I'm back in my writing studio, I'm reflecting on the way we spend so much time paying for our past mistakes. The potential sale of our home, for example, represents a kind of financial reset for us. For twenty years, I've been stuck in a cycle, like most Americans, of accumulating and then paying down debts: consumer debt, student loan debt, mortgage debt. Debt. Debt. Debt.
In this particular case, we are — quite literally — paying for our past choices. Sometimes, these debts are good (so I'm told), but often they are the result of our need for a dopamine rush: buying that new gadget, that nicer car, that house that was just a bit too much for us to handle. (This month, I read Anna Lembke's Dopamine Nation which had me thinking about the ways in which we behave in the present to get that rush of dopamine.)
This is how we do things, perhaps because of the state of precarity that Anne Helen Petersen writes about in Can't Even: How Millennials Became the Burnout Nation. (NOTE: Can't recommend that book enough. I'm a millennial and I feel it.)
I'm lucky, though, because I can say that it's going to be okay. It's going to be just fine. Just fine...yes...provided, of course, that all goes well with our move to California.
Interestingly, I felt most active this month right here on sbhebert.com. That's not typical for me. Typically, I spread my writing efforts out a bit more, but that wasn't really the case. These pieces range from a quick thought on how how to use Things 3 to write blog posts to the mental side of golf to the horrific events in Uvalde (and my thoughts for Gus). Please read and enjoy!
it's not working yet
This month, I did start to dig back into my fiction, but I'm still not fully in the swing of things. Here's what I posted to it's not working yet:
the unruly buddha
I always end these monthly missives with this question. While I know I can look to the future and see quite a bit on the horizon, mostly our move to California, I don't really feel like thinking about what's next. I feel like sipping this coffee, listening to the new Wilco album, and enjoying today for today.